Before we left, we were instructed to write a letter to ourselves to be opened up while we were here. Welp, we just got them today, and I figured I'd share some of my thoughts on this journey back before I came here. I hope you enjoy! xoxo
Dear Rachel,
Frankly, I don’t quite know how to begin this letter. I suppose I’ll begin by mentioning that this is a beautiful day in Valpo. Its 84 degrees, and the sun is shining, and you have a crazy amount of Biotech to study for tonight. Oh and also, you’re currently writing this at work. Aaaand you just got a $100 pledge for the ValpoFund tonight. Hollllaaaaa.
Also on this lovely day, your ticket to Stuttgart has officially been purchased. Even though its cheesy, I love the fact that I’m writing this letter on the day your ticket was procured.
111 days. Thats how many days you have until you fly from ORD to Stuttgart, Germany. It seems so far away, but as usual, the summer will fly by fast and it’ll be August.
I wonder if you’ll feel like a different person when you reread this letter sometime this fall. Will you still be deeply sarcastic? Will you still be passionately in love with the art of theatre? Will you still feel that Chi Omega saved your life? Will you still think about him every day? Will you be able to move on from all the baggage that North America holds?
At the moment, I see the experience you’re currently embarking on as a fresh start. Not only are going with a bunch of people that don’t know you, but you’re going to a place you’ve never been to before.
I know you’re a little scared that you’re currently missing out on some good times at home. And frankly, you probably are. But honestly, your experience is worth more than a good Saturday night at Duffy’s, and even a good weekend in Chicago with the Loyola fam, riding the CTA Red Line and going to Wrigleyville or Lincoln Park. I mean, sure, all those experiences are fun and you’ve had a blast before and I’m sure you’ll do those things again and have a good time, but THIS experience that you’re on is worth more. Its worth more because doing something you’ve never done. Its easy to fall into a comfortable routine of doing things that you know what to expect and that you know you’ll enjoy, but there something so much more invigorating, terrifying, scintillating and BRAVE about going to a strange place on your own.
My hope for you is to explore. Both physically and mentally, your world has the possibility of being so much larger and more beautiful than what you’re used to.
You and I (haha, I’m essentially talking to myself, its fine) both know that you are a deeply nostalgic person, who longs for other times that were better when things are bad, but I hope that you’re so wrapped up in the whimsical enchantment of Europe that you don’t find yourself wishing for anything other than the present...and don’t you dare think back to when times were good with him. He doesn’t have any space in your mind, and I hope you realize that eventually.
Lastly, I hope that during this exploration of both a whole new place and your adventures, that you find yourself more. Look at how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown in the past 4 years (hell, let alone the past 4 months, I’m hoping), and to always stay true to yourself...the bubbly, effervescent, ungraceful, showtune-loving, deep, witty, Italian/German that wants to fall in love with the world.
Love always,
Rachel Noel Abbinante
P.S. I’m hoping you’re drinking a lot of beer.
P.S.S. Do the touristy shit. If it sucks, it’ll just be another memory to laugh at.
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